OK, well here it is. My condensed version of my “Phuck like a porn star” class. Ready? OK, well, first off. Why the hell do you people always bring your fiends to a swingers party? Have you heard the expression,” Bringing pussy to a pussy convention?” How dumb is that? The reason you got out off work, got sitters for the kids and spent a ton of money is so that you can play with people you will never see again. Fuck your friends at home when you are at home! The whole idea of a swingers convention is to play and gather with those who you haven’t had the chance to because they live so far away. Ok I get the whole comfort thing.. but really, your swingers get out of your freakn’ box and take some chances about meeting new people. STOP the clicks!
Now that we are alone.. lol. Lets talk about what to do, and how to do it. First off. STOP saying “We will get to them, or that later.” NO you won’t! Because they will be under me! If you don’t take advantage of them right when you meet them and live in the moment, well, they will move on to me and I will get them. Your shit out of luck. So stop waiting till the last minute and not getting who and what you wanted out of your time at convention. Really, I see people all the time talking to their friends from home and letting some great times with other people pass them by. Your loss.
Ok number two, and yes, this is shit! I mean what the fuck are you thinking. Drinking like this is an anti AA meeting or something. Really, if you have to get that fucking drunk to do anything, especially sex, then you should not have ever come in the first place. If I am going to give you all I’ve got, I want you to remember it, and so should you. I know I am not the only one who has heard of drunk dick. Guys, really, your girl is hot and ready and you can’t do any thing about it. Dumb ass. Now if playing is not your thing, OK that’s cool, but stop fucking with every one elses good time. The couple your cock blocking from having a good time is going to hate you in the morning. There goes your rep. If you ever had one.
So what have we learned today.. well. Have fun, remember what and who you are playing with. And always look for new and exciting people to play with… NOW your swinging. So the next convention you go to, or couples cruise, Leave the friends at home or at least have them get their own cabin or room. Do what you want to, but live on the edge, just think, this could be your last convention ever. So live it like it is! Remember. Life is for the living, and if your not going to go to the edge, get off my world. Now book your next convention before it sells out. Stop making excuses for not doing it. Have fun, play safe, swing better!
Song of the day: Hardwell, W&W – Jumper (Original Mix) …Rave on!!!!!
Thing to do: Book an adventure for the two of you today! That’s why god made credit cards..LOL
Places to go: New Orleans, not just for Naughty in Nawlins but any time…. Love that town.